Anne Hathaway Topless or At Least See Through

Just kidding -- sort of. The cut out portion is down below. The thing is that a very large contingency of the computer searching public wants to see this young woman's breasts. I mean, look what you've done to get here. Now stop looking at her tits and go read my blog.

Topless Photos -- Boldly Going Where Letters From A Broad Didn't Go

Now, as part of my ongoing dialogue with c.l. of Letters from A Broad, I've created this footnote to her "topless" blog in which she bailed out of being topless in France. Now, I could have posted pictures of me topless, but I'm a guy and I still don't think anyone would have really given a damn -- despite c.l.'s protestations that half were looking for men.

c.l. and I have been discussing and I plan on continuing to discuss with her for a good long time the anti-sex faction of the feminist movement and the alleged evils of objectification. My most recent comment to her was on how women just flat out refuse to acknowledge how much power their sexuality packs -- economically and emotionally. Now, she has a whole list of posts on sexuality and women issues and I am still a nascent blogger with scant two months under my belt, so I have a lot of catching up to do.

Being the sexist male pig that I am I can post pictures of naked women and get away with it -- sort of. My point with the pictures is probably three fold:

1. Naked women are beautiful and appease my sense of aesthetics.

2. Naked women may be objectifications, but they are objectifications of feminine power, not feminine weakness (and a good dose of pro-sex feminist rhetoric helps the porn go down).

3. I want to show up on search engines -- which is why I cut and paste c.l.'s list from her blog, because don't let her kid you, the reason she made that big long list is so that she has a better chance of showing up sooner on the search engines. (Even in a swimsuit, she has one of those logical, analytical type minds that can figure out computers and stuff.)

So I give you my prayer to Google.

Our Google which art in the Internet,

Hallowed be thy name,

I type in some and my search is done,

In Utah and Zimbabwe,

Give us this day our daily web crawler

And find our words and omit all others.

And lead not the searchers to other web sites,

But deliver them from evil

And to me.

For thine is the kingdom and the glory forever,

Amen

And an extra bless and thanks to Sister chanson for providing with today's bounteous feast of words for the web crawlers consumption.

In the Name of the Internet,

Amen.

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Swimsuits= mc2

This woman can't do math. No really, the feminist psychologists say so.

Ok, I can think of another more logical causal reason why women dressing alone in swim suits might perform more poorly on a math test than the woman dressing alone in a sweater that has nothing to do with self-objectification or a woman's ability to math semi-nude. Culturally we teach our daughters to be wary of sexual come ons. Girls are smart and cautious about being put in unsafe positions, especially college girls. So they go to the test and they are told to put on a swim suit and take a math test. Immediately the anxiety level is ratched up, not because they are worried about how they look, but about who is going to come busting through the door and accoust them. I think there is some strong psychological evidence that anxiety inhibits test performance -- a Google search for "psychological study anxiety test performance" yielded a mere 698,000 hits.

But women can't really do math -- especially in swim suits.

Pissed Off

This guy looked like he was pissed off. Anyway the news report implied that there was a "new study" that verified all sorts of horrible things that happen to young women as a result of being "sexualized."

The report was not a study, but a report of a (self-appointed?) task force under the auspices of the American Psychological Association, which produced this report as a kind of synthesis of various studies that supported the anti-sex feminist agenda of the participants. Now, I might be going a little too far in the other direction with my editorial comments, but I'm editorializing not reporting the news. Bottom line -- the reporter should be spanked for such sloppy reporting.

Butt

Yes, I know I spelled "but" with two "t"s, but I got you to look.

Moroni 10:4-5

Joseph Smith found God directly by following the admonition of James 1:5 --

" 5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. "

Later he re-canonized the same concept in Moroni 10:4-5 in the Book of Mormon:

4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

These concepts were taught to me growing up as objective empirical tests that could prove the truth of the religion. It was supported by other empirical road marks, the most notable being the objective witnesses (3 and 12), who saw respectively angels and gold plates. The concept that an emipirical test can be applied to subjective spiritual truth isn't foreign, but it is also completely predictable that if objective, empirical evidence is found lacking that a "believer" in the Mormon faith, might be deconverted.

Lapping At Sacramental Wine

Kneeling and praying to the female is a powerful image for me. You take the position of worship -- kneeling. You pay devotion and attention to the divine feminine. The female in this position so often reminds me of the crucified Christ, preparing for that small death of orgasm.

(Original Post)

Sex and Violence -- Two Different Perspectives

There are numerous different aspects of violence and sex. In today's post, I'm talking about violence as a substitute for sexual connection. Further exploration into violence and sex will have to be for later. Some possible areas of exploration:

1. Connection of Sex and Pain

2. Violence within the sex act

3. Sado-masochism

4. Rape and rape fantasies vs. rape realities

5. Bondage

6. Horror and Sex in Movies and Literature

Let me know other topics of discussion.

(Original Post)

On Fire

So what is it about fire and sex? Why, when the hormones are raging do we say we are on fire? Things get burned up in fire and that pretty much sums up my sex life too-- burning and destroying everything in its path. Apparently today, Little Miss Raving Mad Woman is on fire, so in honor of her conflagration, I post my poorest attempts at Photoshop Art.

Drawn and Quartered

We say things and so often forget what they mean. If you were convicted of treason, which I'm assuming most Mormons would accuse me, the punishment in good old merry England at various times. (Drawn and quartered was part of the reason we ban cruel and unusual punishment here in the States.)

Until 1870, the full punishment for the crime was to be "hanged, drawn, and quartered" in that the convict would be:

Dragged on a hurdle (a wooden frame) to the place of execution. (drawn)
Hanged by the neck for a short time or until almost dead. (hanged).
Disembowelled, and the genitalia and entrails burned before the victim's eyes (often mistaken for drawing).[1]
Beheaded and the body divided into four parts (quartered).

Typically, the resulting five parts (i.e. the four quarters of the body and the head) were gibbeted (put on public display) in different parts of the city, town, or, in famous cases, country, to deter would-be traitors. Gibbeting was abolished in England in 1843.

Mary and the Mormons

Now, most folk doctrine in the Mormon church holds that Mary M. (or at the very least, someone else) was married to Jesus. The doctrines of Christ as the exemplar coupled with the New and Everlasting Covenant (eternal marriage necessary for celestial glory) leave no other possible logical conclusion. So of course, in 2006 due to the furor over the Da Vinci Code, which most Mormons took in stride or as yet another sign of the world beginning to understand important truths. The new, correlated and politically correct church, which is trying to distance itself from a) the annoying past and b) anything remotely interesting or fun issued a statement that it has never been "official Church doctrine" that Jesus was married. How is that interesting I ask? I'd love for some continuing revelation to get this whole doctrinal thing figured out.

For a short and accurate portrait of Mary Magdalene in the Mormon view, get thee to Barnes and Noble, snag a copy of Secrets of Mary Magdalene and turn to Page 166 for Maxine Hanks excellent synopsis.

Dartman's Answers

Here are the answers I came up with -- How did I do?

26 Letters of the Alphabet

7 Wonders of the Ancient World

1001 Arabian Nights

12 Signs of the Zodiac

54 Cards in a Deck (with the "Jokers")

9 Planets in the Solar System

88 Piano Keys

13 Stripes on the American Flag

32 Degrees Farhenheit at which Water Freezes

18 Holes on a Golf Course

90 Degrees in a Right Angle

200 Dollars for Passing Go in Monopoly

8 Sides on a Stop Sign

3 Blind Mice See How They Run

4 Quarts in a Gallon

24 Halves in a Dozen

1 Wheel on a Unicycle

5 Digits in a Zip Code

57 Heinz Varieties

11 People on a Football Team

1000 Words that a Picture is Worth

29 Days in February in a Leap Year

64 Squares on a Chess Board

40 Days and Nights of the Great Flood

Kitten

Despite all the possible feline puns available with a name like "Kitten," I shall refrain because this little Kitten apparently likes dogs, not cats. While her moniker may suggest a liking of the cat family, she is into dogs. You can find her blog here.

Kitten's Dog reminded me of a Louis Icart print I have at my house, Coursings III. I couldn't find my version, but found another similar one for this footnote.

Kitten likes to read and knows a lot about books, so you should hide your bookshelf when she comes to visit if you don't want her knowing your deep dark secrets and fantasies, i.e. Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty triology can't be passed off as your kid's fantasy series.

Kitten also resides in Australia and as a result I will cheer for the Wallabies today when I see them play.

GBH, GHB and Other Acronyms

Mormons love acronyms. The origins of this acronym love arose during the 1960s when the baby boomer Mormons took a perverse sense of pride in the fact that Latter Day Saints could be reduced to the acronym, LDS, which was oddly similar to the acronym for Lysergsäure-diethylamid, or LSD. The nearness of the church acronym to a psychedelic drug acronym gave the righteous a sense of consciousness expansion and spiritual awakening without having to sin and actually take the drug. You could listen to the Grateful Dead and take your LDS.

A similar phenomenon is occurring with the current generation of young Mormons, who think it is cool that the leader of the church and prophet, Gorden B. Hinckley or GBH for short, sounds an awful lot like the mind altering, date rape inducing rave drug, Gamma hydroxy butyrate or GHB for short. They can listen to electro-techno pop and follow the words of GBH. You want to be in the world, but not of it, but you should also try and be cool -- even if it means you have dyslexic acronyms.

Crafts are Forever

Every Mormon household has a handcrafted, needlepointed or tole painted "Famlies are Forever" wall hanging some where in the house. No mention is ever made in these sayings on what exactly happens if your family is dysfunctional. Given the absence of any type of meaningful hell in Mormon theology, maybe "Families are Forever" is the closest Mormons come to a traditional concept of hell. Imagine being stuck with some members of your family forever. It makes you wonder if anyone ever thinks these things out.

Crafts are Forever

Every Mormon household has a handcrafted, needlepointed or tole painted "Famlies are Forever" wall hanging some where in the house. No mention is ever made in these sayings on what exactly happens if your family is dysfunctional. Given the absence of any type of meaningful hell in Mormon theology, maybe "Families are Forever" is the closest Mormons come to a traditional concept of hell. Imagine being stuck with some members of your family forever. It makes you wonder if anyone ever thinks these things out.

Ensign

The Ensign is the magazine of choice for Mormon families. The magazine is sanctioned by the Church and periodic magazine drives are held to insure everyone subscribes. Often given as a gift by TBM parents or grandparents to progeny whose faith seems to be slipping, possibly because someone in the house, instead of signing up for the Ensign, has opted for the Mormon Playboy instead: Cosmopolitan.

A logical syllogism may help explain Cosmo's relationship to the young Mormon Male's universe:

Cosmo is to Playboy as Diet Coke is to Coffee.

Low Sperm Package versus No Sperm Package

Given the total inablity of my vasectomy to get me laid more frequently, I would have to say that women must also be able to detect "no sperm package", thus completely negating the biological imperative of frequent copulation. If only I had just been cursed with a low sperm count.

Body of Evidence

Madonna stars in this erotic thriller of a woman accused of killing her lover by fucking him to death. Willem Dafoe conducts an in depth investigation. This movie is a must for any movie erotic library, if for no other reason than the candle wax scene.

Naked Groom

Sideon asked for a naked groom and quite frankly the only reason I didn't post one is because I couldn't find one. For some odd reason this guy came up as "groom" on an image search, so, here is the closest I could find.

The Amazon Reviews

I plucked the Amazon Reviews off Amazon's website -- probably in some violation of copyright laws, because I thought it would be fun to comment on each of them and a good excuse to post pictures of Amazonian Women. My comments will be in black if I find them necessary, the comments of the Amazonian reviewers will be in some other color.

Natalie Collins can easily draw the reader in to what the main character is feeling. I cannot adequately describe how much I loved reading this book. I easily finished it in a day. Regardless of what some may say, the religious aspects of the book are not the main story line and it is not an expose of Mormonism. The religion is really more like a setting.

I read this book in two days because I couldn't put it down. I appreciated the fast-paced mystery and romance. But even more, I appreciated it because it is an accurate and heartbreaking portrayal of life in contemporary Utah, while entertaining and informing at the same time. There is no exaggeration of the overblown importance of Mormonism's secrets. Hooray Ms. Collins. Another rousing, well-told story. Oh please. We don't have shoot outs on the ward house lawn everyday here in Utah. Plus we only get one body thrown in a dumpster, not five. The portrayal of life in Utah wasn't even all that heartbreaking in the book, she did bag and bed the guy in the end. I'm still trying to decipher this sentence though: "There is no exaggeration of the overblown importance of Mormonism's secrets." Natalie doesn't exaggerate the overblown importance? What happens when you exaggerate the overblown importance? Do things explode? Oh well, back to my heartbreaking life here in Zion.

I think Amazon Barbie is hot. And if one Amazon Barbie is hot, two are hotter. And if two Amazon Barbies are hotter, two Amazon Barbies in a literary catfight are the hottest.

This book was awful. The plot alternates between incoherent and completely predictable. The writing is cliche and clunky. As for the promised expose of Mormonism, that consists of a character scanning a book shelf and noticing titles like Fawn Brodie's "No Man Knows My History."

And Ms. Collin's retort:

First of all, as a writer, I must note that it HAS to be absolutely impossible for a book to alternate between incoherent and completely predictable. That just can’t happen.

Secondly, obviously, your review has an agenda. And that’s okay, except you are not honest about your agenda. There IS no promised expose of Mormonism. Wherever did you get that idea? This book does delve into the Mormon experience, but it certainly doesn’t come close to covering all of it, and doesn’t claim to do so.

Of course, your opinion is yours, Courtney, and I won’t take that away from you. Too bad you can’t write a structured sentence, using the correct form of words, because then, perhaps, people might take you seriously. Or not.

I agree, she should have said "cliched" and instead of "incoherent" used "implausible" then I would have maybe paid attention to her. Granted it wasn't the most articulate review Natalie, but Courtney did bring up an interesting point -- why throw in the shelf of Ex-Mo books at all, except to piss off the predominant culture. I know, your going to say that it was important for Colt's character development, but that is like Dan Brown saying "I really love the pope."

She grew up in the Mormon faith believing in its tenets until the night her fiancé Brian raped her in the temple. No, No, No. The alleged "rape" didn't happen in the temple. If sex happened in the temple it wouldn't be so hard to get people to go. The bishop says both contributed to the rape as Jennie wore provocative clothing and let things go to far; and he should have had the strength to not give in to temptation. Unable to believe the bishop's "words of wisdom" she walked out on Brian and never returned to a temple or a church.

She counsels abused [Natalie, you ought to critique your fan critiques with the same harshness as your critic critiques -- "Too bad you can’t write a structured sentence, using the correct form of words, because then, perhaps, people might take you seriously. Or not."]and is fearful when she learns her best friend Melissa disappeared. The two women along with Michael and Brian were childhood friends until she left her fiancé, but kept close connections with the other two. Jeannie doesn't want to believe Melissa is dead even though all evidence points to Michael killing her. The more she digs the close she comes to getting murdered from a killer who is determined to keep his identity a secret.

This is a chilling thriller that exposes the dark side of religious extremism and intolerance. Even though the heroine walked away from a religion that she now believes treats women as second class chattel [As opposed to first class chattel?], she feels guilty that she no longer accepts the Mormon faith that was her bedrock as a child and teen. The characters are believable and the pace swift and action packed while the romantic sub-plot between the lead detective on the case and the heroine adds spice to a fabulous romantic thriller. Harriet Klausner

And our last Amazon Woman is an Amazon.com Woman.

Collins has woven an incredible plot with living, breathing characters into another fascinating read.

Jannie Fox has survived rape, the betrayal of her birth religion, and betrayal by her family for the last five years by living in an emotional dead zone. Five years as a shadow of the once vibrant person she was. Five years spent hiding from her self, five years dedicated to helping women survive their abusive relationships. [These are what my English Teacher, Mrs. Storey called sentence fragments. Writing this way would not have got me through AP English. And if Natalie was consistent in her condemnation of sloppy critical writing, you wouldn't be writing her rave reviews on Amazon right now. I just know that for all my smart ass remarks, I'm going to have some blaring typo that exposes me, but hey I'm an exhibitionist by nature -- I like to show the world my flaws.] But with the disappearance of her best friend, life has suddenly become three-dimensional, surround-sound, techno-color and now Jannie Fox is running to stay alive.

The Salt Lake City Police Department and Detective Colt Singer are determined to get to the bottom of Melissa's disappearance. Is Colt Singer the man to relight Jannie's heart when Jannie's ex-fiancé wants her back? Can the Salt Lake City Police stop Jannie's childhood friend Michael Holt, Melissa's husband, and bring him to justice? Will you be able to unravel the twist and turns of Jannie Fox's life and the Mormon Church? You'll never know until you read Natalie Collin's latest masterpiece Behind Closed Doors from St. Martin's Press. This is starting to sound a little bit like a plug for a bad reality TV show or a summary of a bad soap opera: Tune in next week to find out if Laura bangs Dr. Kildaire.

Apparently I can't pick up a Natalie Collins book without being mesmerized. From the prologue to the epilogue Collins weaves a tale that sucks you into the storyline with smart dialogue, a twisted - devious plot, and very human characters - characters who live in your memory long after you read the last word and close the book. Make sure you buy Behind Closed Doors because you'll definitely read it more than once. I did.

Calista Cates-Stanturf

And thus concludes the Amazon reviews.

Behind Closed Doors: The Movie

In the mysterious, sprawling mansion in BEHIND CLOSED DOORS, a plethora of gorgeous women lie in wait for a man. In addition to their desires for intense pleasure, the women also indulge in sadomasochism, a combination makes them irresistible.

Apparently Natalie got beat out in her use of the title by some Japanese Anime Porn.

Eternity: Smoke and Mirrors

Everyone always acted like the mirrors juxtaposed on opposite sides of the sealing room were the most romantic thing the temple had to offer. I had to muse on this, since kneeling at the altar, all you get to see is your own face and the back of the head of your soon to be spouse -- no visual connection with the other person for all of eternity's ever cascading mirrors.

Compare this to the mirror on the ceiling (as opposed to the mirrors of the sealing), where you can gaze at each other in all your glory -- now which one is truly romantic?

Burn

I could only find one picture on the web showing a cigarette lighter burn. This one happened to be on the inside of a child's leg. I know it isn't a subtle metaphor. Unfortunately, this type of injury on children is not uncommon.

Interminable Grin

I felt a little guilty when I clicked the "Blog This" button on Flickr, because I knew this sweet, young couple had posted their wedding pictures up on the web and hadn't really contemplated that some guy would type in "mormon temple bride" in the search engine to discuss the fleeting nature of the wedding "grin." I felt guilty until I realized that most every marriage -- whether it is happy, sad or ended has a picture like this in the wedding album. I think we miss something when these pictures don't fade and yellow with age. Digital pictures are a little too perfect for my tastes.

I must really be a cynic, because I see the fights and pain that is coming in that look, but lest you think I'm a complete non-romantic curmedgeon, the look is a consumation devoutly to be wished for.