Ensign

The Ensign is the magazine of choice for Mormon families. The magazine is sanctioned by the Church and periodic magazine drives are held to insure everyone subscribes. Often given as a gift by TBM parents or grandparents to progeny whose faith seems to be slipping, possibly because someone in the house, instead of signing up for the Ensign, has opted for the Mormon Playboy instead: Cosmopolitan.

A logical syllogism may help explain Cosmo's relationship to the young Mormon Male's universe:

Cosmo is to Playboy as Diet Coke is to Coffee.